Lord,
I am exhausted. I don't know if I have placed myself around people with a lot going on or you placed me there, but I am emotionally exhausted. I am physically exhausted. I am spiritually exhausted. I have attempted to solve my issues myself. I have tried to grasp a handle on everything going on and when I do I find that it is all slipping away even quicker. Perhaps, if I just let go of it all You will take care of it. I know you will take care of it You always do, but I just still get worried. I guess I am still learning to trust you. It is still hard, but I know that I need to know you more. So, I can trust you more. I am just so dumb. It is like I know what to do, but I still want to attempt it my way, and then I fail. Ugh it is annoying. I am annoyed with myself again.
I have three people that are constantly on my mind: Matt, Megan, and Colton. Now, I love these people with all my heart. I believe I love Colton and Megan with the love of Christ...or at least I am getting there. Matt I know it is a fleshy love. It is not even a love thing it is more of desire issue. Now, if it be Your will I want to get past that I want to see Matt the way You see Matt. I want him to see You in me. I don't know what Your plan is for me and Matt's friendship, but all in all if it is the end then Amen if it is not Amen. All I ask is your will be done.
My legs are so tired. I have been working out so hard lately. I cannot even endure the thought of being this weight for the rest of my life. You have given me a body that should be functioning at a maximum capacity, and for me to be carrying all this weight that I shouldn't be is a disgrace. Now, my body that you created is not, but I am not taking care of it the way I should. I am not even taking care of my spirit the way I should. I really need you Lord. I know you are forever present, but please be here with me. I seek after You. I love You.
You are so magnificent and wonderful. I love You. I am always amazed about how mindful you are of me. How even when I don't see myself and I want to hide that you see me. You see my foolish and shame and faults and still love me unconditionally. I love you so much Lord and all I want to do is make you happy. Please help me; I need you Lord.
Love You Daughter,
Tosin
